You smell like stripper and shame
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
