some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
