I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
