By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize