can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
