We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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