I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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