Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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