those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I can't put those talents on a resume
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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