i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
So vagazzling was a success
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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