i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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