i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Every concussion has its silver lining
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
