Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
