i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
