he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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