I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
