My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
