Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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