is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
