i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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