I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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