some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
