I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
