How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
