yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
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You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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