some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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