You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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