everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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