I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Randomize