There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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