She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
