Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
if only i could text you this smell
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
