Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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