what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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