I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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