i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
