I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
