We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
