kristin has been a bad kristin
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
