just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
