well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
