You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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