Where is the hickey?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
