he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
