Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
