do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
