if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize