Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
