you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
