Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
