I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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