I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize