Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize