i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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