I can text with my tongue
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Is it penis luge time yet?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
