bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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