Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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