its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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